Take it from these funny folks and spend a few minutes from your day enjoying a bit of a good humour.
“Woke up today. It was terrible.”—Grumpy Cat
“Eggs are fantastic for a fitness diet. If you don’t like the taste, just add cocoa, flour, sugar, butter, baking powder and cook at 350 for 30 minutes.”—Anonymous
“I can’t end my messages with Love, Shaq because the B-52s ruined that for me.”—Meme attributed to Shaquille O’Neal
“My husband and I fell in love at first sight. Maybe I should have taken a second look.”—Halley Reed (Mia Farrow), Crimes and Misdemeanors
“Thanksgiving dinners take 18 hours to prepare. They are consumed in 12 minutes. Half-times take 12 minutes. This is not a coincidence.”—Erma Bombeck
“Insanity runs in my family. It practically gallops.”—Mortimer Brewster (Cary Grant), Arsenic and Old Lace
Brian: “Look, you’ve got it all wrong. You don’t need to follow me. You don’t need to follow anybody. You’ve got to think for yourselves. You’re all individuals.”
Crowd: “Yes, we’re all individuals!”
Individual: “I’m not!” —Brian (Graham Chapman) and cast, Monty Python’s Life of Brian
“Why can’t you just be happy for me and then go home and talk behind my back later like a normal person?”—Lillian (Maya Rudolph), Bridesmaids
“Anyone who lives within their means suffers from a lack of imagination.”—Oscar Wilde
“What they could do to make it easier is combine the two, real estate and obituaries: Mr. Klein died today leaving a wife, two children, and a spacious three-bedroom apartment with a wood-burning fireplace.”—Harry (Billy Crystal), When Harry Met Sally
“The key to faking out the parents is the clammy hands. It’s a good non-specific symptom; I’m a big believer in it. A lot of people will tell you that a good phony fever is a dead lock, but you get a nervous mother, you could wind up in a doctor’s office. That’s worse than school. You fake a stomach cramp, and when you’re bent over, moaning and wailing, you lick your palms. It’s a little childish and stupid, but then, so is high school.”—Ferris Bueller (Matthew Broderick), Ferris Bueller’s Day Off
“I like my money where I can see it: hanging in my closet.”—Carrie (Sarah Jessica Parker), Sex and the City
Cal: “You are really pushing my buttons today.”
Becky: “Which one is ‘mute’?” —Waitress, the Musical
“The worst part of online shopping is having to get up and get your credit card from your purse.”—Anonymous
“People say, ‘But Betty, Facebook is a great way to connect with old friends.’ Well, at my age, if I want to connect with old friends I need a Ouija board.”—Betty White
If you are looking for a bit of humour to brighten your day, check out www.mediajist.com today.
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