Funny History Quotes (Some Will Surprise You)

Relax, laugh and have a good time with these funny quotes about history, all curated by the Mediajist review team.

History books that contain no lies are extremely dull. Anatole France

Hindsight is the historian’s necessary vice. Hilary Mantel

On human stupidity: It is one of the most powerful forces that shape history. Yuval Noah Harari

Human blunders usually do more to shape history than human wickedness. A. J. P. Taylor

History is a pack of lies about events that never happened told by people who weren’t there. George Santayana

When the great history of trouble is written, my family will stand extremely high in the table of contents. Allan Sherman

History is an account, mostly false, of events, mostly unimportant, which are brought about by rulers, mostly knaves, and soldiers, mostly fools. Ambrose Bierce

I felt like a pickle stepping into history. Bill Clinton

Long before history began we men have got together apart from the women and done things. We had time. C. S. Lewis

People take the longest possible paths, digress to numerous dead ends, and make all kinds of mistakes. Then historians come along and write summaries of this messy, nonlinear process and make it appear like a simple, straight line. Dean Kamen

The historian will tell you what happened. The novelist will tell you what it felt like. E. L. Doctorow

Anyone who believes you can’t change history has never tried to write his memoirs. David Ben Gurion

Watch the History Channel if you want it literal and historically perfect. Emily Blunt

Every historian discloses a new horizon. George Sand

A poet in history is divine, but a poet in the next room is a joke. Max Eastman

Historian: an unsuccessful novelist. H. L. Mencken

Like a historian, I interpret, select, discard, shape, simplify. Unlike a historian, I make up people’s thoughts. Hilary Mantel

Yeah, I read history. But it doesn’t make you nice. Hitler read history, too. Joan Rivers

History can bring luck: this is what we can call optimism. Stephane Hessel

You don’t hate history, you hate the way it was taught to you in high school. Stephen Ambrose

I feel like I’m too busy writing history to read it. Kanye West

The historian is a prophet looking backward. Karl Wilhelm Friedrich Schlegel

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Humour quotes to brighten up your day

We all need a good laugh sometimes, so here are some fun quotes on laughter to help start your day off right.

“Comedy is acting out optimism.” –Robin Williams

“A well-developed sense of humor is the pole that adds balance to your steps as you walk the tightrope of life.” –William Arthur Ward

“Humor can alter any situation and help us cope at the very instant we are laughing.” –Allen Klein

“Humor is just another defense against the universe.” –Mel Brooks

“Humor is laughing at what you haven’t got when you ought to have it.” –Langston Hughes

“Humor is perhaps a sense of intellectual perspective: an awareness that some things are really important, others not; and that the two kinds are most oddly jumbled in everyday affairs.” –Christopher Morley

“If you could choose one characteristic that would get you through life, choose a sense of humor.” –Jennifer Jones

“Humor is something that thrives between man’s aspirations and his limitations. There is more logic in humor than in anything else. Because, you see, humor is truth.” –Victor Borge

“Humor is the affectionate communication of insight.” –Leo Rosten

“Like a welcome summer rain, humor may suddenly cleanse and cool the earth, the air and you.” –Langston Hughes

“Next to power without honor, the most dangerous thing in the world is power without humor.” –Eric Sevareid

“The more I live, the more I think that humor is the saving sense.” –Jacob August Riis

For more great comical content, check out www.mediajist.com.

The best quotes to make you giggle

Fans of comedy will love these funny quotes from the world’s best comics.

“I never forget a face—but in your case, I’ll be glad to make an exception.”

—Groucho Marx

“Here’s something to think about: How come you never see a headline like ‘Psychic Wins Lottery’?”

—Jay Leno

“A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.”

—Steve Martin

“My therapist told me the way to achieve true inner peace is to finish what I start. So far I’ve finished two bags of M&Ms and a chocolate cake. I feel better already.”

—Dave Barry

“Never do anything out of hunger. Not even eating.”

—Frank Semyon (Vince Vaughn), True Detective

“What do you mean, he don’t eat no meat? That’s okay, that’s okay. I make lamb.”

—Aunt Voula (Andrea Martin), My Big Fat Greek Wedding

“You know you’re getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while you’re down there.”

—George Burns

“To call you stupid would be an insult to stupid people!”

—Wanda (Jamie Lee Curtis), A Fish Called Wanda

“Instead of the mahi mahi, may I just get the one mahi because I’m not that hungry?”

—Shelley Darlingson (Anna Faris), The House Bunny

“Accept who you are. Unless you’re a serial killer.”

—Ellen DeGeneres

Francois: “Do you know what kind of a bomb it was?”

Clouseau: “The exploding kind.”

—Francois (André Maranne) and Inspector Clouseau (Peter Sellers), The Pink Panther Strikes Again

“My ability to turn good news into anxiety is rivaled only by my ability to turn anxiety into chin acne.”

—Tina Fey, Bossypants

“There is one word that describes people that don’t like me: Irrelevant.”

—Anonymous

“Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?”

—Robin Williams

“I remember it like it was yesterday. Of course, I don’t really remember yesterday all that well.”

—Dory (Ellen DeGeneres), Finding Dory

“I don’t have to take this abuse from you; I’ve got hundreds of people dying to abuse me.”

—Dr. Peter Venkman (Bill Murray), Ghostbusters

Police officer: “Pull over.”

Harry: “No, it’s a cardigan. But thanks for noticing.”

—Harry Dunne (Jeff Daniels), Dumb and Dumber

“I grew up with six brothers. That’s how I learned to dance: waiting for the bathroom.”

—Bob Hope

“If we’re going to pay this much for crab, it better sing and dance and introduce us to the Little Mermaid.”

—Claire Foster (Tina Fey), Date Night

“I prefer not to think before speaking. I like being as surprised as everyone else by what comes out of my mouth.”

—Anonymous

“Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow just as well.”

—Mark Twain

If you are looking for a good giggle, check out www.mediajist.com today.

Funny Quotes To Make You Laugh Out Loud

If you’re looking for a good laugh then look no further as we have got you covered! Here is a good list of some of the funniest quotes to make you laugh out loud.

“People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.” – A. A. Milne

“Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt.” – Abraham Lincoln

“If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?” – Abraham Lincoln

“The best thing about the future is that it comes one day at a time.” – Abraham Lincoln

“The only mystery in life is why the kamikaze pilots wore helmets.” – Al McGuire

“Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.” – Alan Dundes

“Nobody realizes that some people expend tremendous energy merely to be normal.” – Albert Camus

“Men marry women with the hope they will never change. Women marry men with the hope they will change. Invariably they are both disappointed.” – Albert Einstein

“The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.” – Albert Einstein

“All the things I really like to do are either immoral, illegal or fattening.” – Alexander Woollcott

“War is God’s way of teaching Americans geography.” – Ambrose Bierce

“It would be nice to spend billions on schools and roads, but right now that money is desperately needed for political ads.” – Andy Borowitz

“The average dog is a nicer person than the average person.” – Andy Rooney

“At every party there are two kinds of people – those who want to go home and those who don’t. The trouble is, they are usually married to each other.” – Ann Landers

“If you want your children to listen, try talking softly to someone else.” – Ann Landers

“Doctors are just the same as lawyers; the only difference is that lawyers merely rob you, whereas doctors rob you and kill you too.” – Anton Chekhov

“I don’t believe in astrology; I’m a Sagittarius and we’re skeptical.” – Arthur C. Clarke

“My opinions may have changed, but not the fact that I’m right.” – Ashleigh Brilliant

“To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first, and call whatever you hit the target.” – Ashleigh Brilliant

“Trouble knocked at the door, but, hearing laughter, hurried away.” – Benjamin Franklin

“Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy.” – Benjamin Franklin

“Have you noticed that all the people in favor of birth control are already born?”– Benny Hill

“Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.” – Bernard Baruch

“Most people would sooner die than think; in fact, they do so.” – Bertrand Russell

“The world is full of magical things patiently waiting for our wits to grow sharper.” – Bertrand Russell

“Facebook just sounds like a drag, in my day seeing pictures of peoples vacations was considered a punishment.” – Betty White

“Everything that used to be a sin is now a disease.” – Bill Maher

“If there is anything the nonconformist hates worse than a conformist, it’s another nonconformist who doesn’t conform to the prevailing standard of nonconformity.” – Bill Vaughan

“Money won’t buy happiness, but it will pay the salaries of a large research staff to study the problem.” – Bill Vaughan

For more hilarious humour, check out www.mediajist.com today.

Funny Quotes From The World’s Funniest People

If you love a good chuckle then you will love these quotes from some of the funniest people alive.

I intend to live forever. So far, so good. Steven Wright

Tomorrow is often the busiest day of the week. Spanish proverb

When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them. Rodney Dangerfield

Rice is great when you’re hungry and you want 2000 of something. Mitch Hedberg

Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth.

I remixed a remix, it was back to normal. Mitch Hedberg

The best way to teach your kids about taxes is by eating 30 percent of their ice cream. Bill Murray

I’m writing a book. I’ve got the page numbers done. Steven Wright

A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I’m afraid of widths. Steven Wright

I have always wanted to be somebody, but I see now I should have been more specific. Lily Tomlin

This suspense is terrible. I hope it will last. Oscar Wilde

Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company. Mark Twain

If a book about failures doesn’t sell, is it a success? Jerry Seinfeld

Knowledge is like underwear. It is useful to have it, but not necessary to show it off. Bill Murray

Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than going to a garage makes you an automobile. Billy Sunday

Never trust people who smile constantly. They’re either selling something or not very bright. Laurell K. Hamilton

I did not attend his funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it. Mark Twain

A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on. Winston S. Churchill

When life gives you lemons, squirt someone in the eye. Cathy Guisewite

Accept who you are. Unless you’re a serial killer. Ellen DeGeneres

Everything is changing. People are taking the comedians seriously and the politicians as a joke. Will Rogers

I came from a real tough neighborhood. Once a guy pulled a knife on me. I knew he wasn’t a professional, the knife had butter on it. Rodney Dangerfield

That’s why they call it the American Dream, because you have to be asleep to believe it. George Carlin

If you’re too open-minded; your brains will fall out. Lawrence Ferlinghetti

A pessimist is a man who thinks everybody is as nasty as himself, and hates them for it. George Bernard Shaw

I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me. Fred Allen

If you think nobody cares about you, try missing a couple of payments. Steven Wright

The four most beautiful words in our common language: I told you so. Gore Vidal

My esteem in this country has gone up substantially. It is very nice now that when people wave at me, they use all their fingers. Jimmy Carter (US president 1977 to 1981)

The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits. Albert Einstein

The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don’t want, drink what you don’t like, and do what you’d rather not. Mark Twain

Don’t be so humble – you are not that great. Golda Meir

For more hilarious humour, check out www.mediajist.com today.

The books that will make every teenage reader laugh

Everybody needs a little humor in life no matter what your age. Laughter helps us feel better in all sorts of ways, whether that’s boosting your mood or just putting a smile on your face. If your teenagers love to read and laugh (who doesn’t), here are the books that will make every teenager laugh.

Laugh Tactic by Patrick King – If your someone who loves to make others laugh or would like to learn a bit of the fact behind it, here is the book to read. Laugh Tactic is full of strategies that break down and analyze all types of humor that’ll you’ll encounter in daily conversation. It’s not about becoming a stand-up comedian, but it does share great punch line, joke setups and much more.

The Last Laugh by Tracy Bloom – Jenny discovers every woman’s nightmare that her husband is having an affair. Her life was already tough with two tricky teenagers, her mother’s constant complaints, pretty bad friends and a job on a downward spiral. And now the discovery of a cheating husband. However, Jenny had had enough and vows to keep this discovery a secret. She takes her life and death in her own hands and decides to live when he was the happiest – in 1996. She plans a 90s themed party in place of a wake that she will attend. But will she be able to keep the secret?

Dinner Party by Tracy Bloom – Three couples take turns for a monthly dinner party: Beth, Sarah, and Marie with their other halves. The girls have been friends forever and now they’re all grown up with busy lives, they find the time to meet each other every month. It’s a cozy gathering with happy couples – or so they thought. One night, as someone brings a last-minute guest whose wife has just left him.

Discover more humor content here at www.mediajist.com.

Comedy writing is a serious business

British comedian Bob Monkhouse once used to tell a joke that went: “People used to laugh when I told them I wanted to be a comedian, well they’re not laughing now.”

That self-deprecating gag says a lot being a comedian. Although said in jest, it shows that having dreams of making a career as a comedian can often be derided and not taken seriously. After all, few people are naturally funny and many will find it harder still to turn their jokes into a whole career.

You may think that writing complex thrillers or twisty mystery books with complicated plots is the most difficult form of writing, but it is universally agreed that comedy is the hardest genre to write.

It’s about much more than slipping in a few funny lines here or there or shoe-horning in a joke whenever you feel like it.

Laughs must be earned and even the most skilled comedians who rely on quick-fire gags know that there has to be some level of preparation. Here are some key areas you need to consider to make a joke stick.

Context

Make sure the joke you are telling fits into the overall story or subject you are talking about. If it is something people are familiar with, this may be easier, such as what’s been in the news or things people encounter in their daily lives, but you always need to provide context.

Your audience

Comedians might test their jokes out on different audiences to see what goes down well with whom. Always consider the people in front of you or the people you will be reading your material.

Taste

There’s nothing wrong a joke that’s a bit bawdy or pushes the boundaries of taste, you just need to couch it in a way that can get a laugh. If a joke is in really bad taste, you won’t be long hearing about it.

Discover more humorous writing with the books from www.mediajist.com.

Laugh and cry with these hilarious rom-coms

Books like Bridget Jones’s Diary show that the search for love is a rich source of humour. Here are a couple of hilarious romantic comedies which will have you laughing and crying in equal measure.

Sorry Not Sorry by Sophie Ranald

Charlotte is a good girl, but where has that got her? Not very far in her own opinion and she suddenly realizes that her quest to find love and happiness is going to need to be cranked up a bit.

So when discovers a podcast called Sorry Not Sorry which encourages women to come out of their shells, she is hooked and decides that is the right motivation to shake her life up a bit.

Charlotte says goodbye to the lazy Netflix marathons and midnight fridge raids and embraces the bad girl in her.

Don’t You Forget About Me by Mhairi McFarlane

Georgina and her new boss Lucas have a past – the only trouble is that he doesn’t seem to remember it.

Georgina still clings to the words Lucas wrote to her all those years ago – I love you laugh. Since then, though, her life has been something of a rollercoaster, with more downs than ups. She had the misfortune to be sacked from the worst restaurant in the world and then found her boyfriend in bed with someone else.

But when her life throws her back into the arms – well, not quite – of her first look, things are finally looking up, right? Well, Lucas has no memory of Georgina and she’s back to square one.

Hilarious and heartwarming, this humorous tale of surviving and finding love.

Find more laughs with the humorous books from www.mediajist.com.

 

Why Laughter Truly Is The Best Medicine

We all enjoy a good laugh, and there’s no doubting that humor can and should be a great way of making life seem a little easier. But, what you probably didn’t realize is that there are very real, very tangible health benefits to finding the funny side of things.

Under Pressure(No Longer)

High blood pressure is a great risk vector for a number of people, as well as a dangerous side effect of stress. However, researchers have demonstrated that regular laughter or exposure to comedy can, in fact, reduce blood pressure over a prolonged period of time.

No More Negativity

This one will seem more intuitive, but it’s true that laughter can help dissipate and alleviate a number of negative emotional states such as anxiety or depression. There have been a number of different studies to have reported these findings, with leading author Bernard Saper suggesting that maintaining a sense of humor can be a positive coping mechanism in a number of different situations.

Kickstart Your Immune System

This one you may struggle to believe, but it’s backed up by serious science. Laughter can, in fact, boost your immune system and your body’s defences. One study amongst college age students found watching funny movie increased salivary IgA, and another found laughter can help increase the number of natural killer cells, a form of lymphocyte.

Whether you want to feel better or are just in the mood for something hilarious, www.mediajist.com is sure to have something that’s right up your alley with a wide-ranging selection of comedy and humor related eBooks and audiobooks.

Comedy in the Coffee Shop

Comedy and coffee often tend to go hand in hand. In fact we could even ask who could ever be funny – or even functional – without a good cup of coffee? And many of us love nothing more than to head over to the coffee shop for the perfect cup, often with some comedy on the side. Here are three examples of the inextricable link between comedy and the coffee shop.

Coffee shops are often training grounds for local talent. That’s right, the comedy club isn’t the only place in town to hear some hilarious comedies. Many coffee shops in many different cities have small stages set up devoted to local performers, and while music and poetry can often be found on the bill there’s no shortage of local comedians dishing out the laughs on the daily.

Coffee shops often serve as settings for some of the funniest moments in movies and tv. Central Perk, anyone? Coffee shops often serve as the backdrop in countless movies and shows, and a particularly famous example can be found in Friends, one of the best loved sitcoms of all time.

Coffee shops are the perfect spot for that hilarious read. Finally, rather than provide the laughs themselves either with standup or in shows, coffee shops contribute to comedy by providing the perfect space to brush up on your favorite funny reads. We could all use more time to unwind and relax with a funny book, but chores and the tv can distract at home, and reading during a commute can often prove complicated. Coffee shops are the perfect spot to unwind with a great comedy book and a steaming cup of joe.

Looking for some hilarious reads? Visit www.mediajist.com for a wide variety of comedy books and more.